Crossing the Abyss.
Anytime we strike out for unknown territory it can be frightening. The questions come fast and furious. What will happen when I finally reach the other side of the Abyss? Will overcoming all of these obstacles be worth it? Will I be able to handle success and stay on the other side?
Before I ventured into this new lifestyle I felt pretty safe. There were no surprises. Even though I was fat and unhappy I had learned to pretty much live in that state. I could use that state to my own advantage.
If there was something I didn't want to do...like go to the beach or go to a fancy dress event...I could always tell myself that I didn't belong there or that I didn't have anything to wear or that I'd be much happier staying at home. Why move out of my comfort zone and open myself up to more pain?
EAS/BFL gave me the courage to step out of that zone. It gave me a running start to make the jump across the abyss.
When I finally made the decision to jump and successfully landed on the other side it felt so good! I wish I would have had the courage to cross the abyss years earlier. Now that I have....life has changed in so many wonderful ways. But each day I still have to make a decision to this new healthy life. Sometimes those old feelings revisit and the "tug" on my shirt tails can be overpowering.
That old way of thinking comes back in a flash and I wonder if all of this hard work is really worth it. The thoughts usually arise when I face brand new feelings and experiences. I now know why they call it the BFL Challenge!
I must confess there are days when I fall back into the abyss. Thankfully the lessons learned have allowed me to put my hands up and grab the edge. I may hang there for a few days...Contemplating which life I want to lead. The old, comfortable life filled with familiar pain or the new, life with surprises around every corner?
It's a decision that many of my BFL Buddies have faced. I am grateful to those who have been there and continue to be there to give me a hand up and pulled me to the other side. In return I'm there to repay the favor.
Before I ventured into this new lifestyle I felt pretty safe. There were no surprises. Even though I was fat and unhappy I had learned to pretty much live in that state. I could use that state to my own advantage.
If there was something I didn't want to do...like go to the beach or go to a fancy dress event...I could always tell myself that I didn't belong there or that I didn't have anything to wear or that I'd be much happier staying at home. Why move out of my comfort zone and open myself up to more pain?
EAS/BFL gave me the courage to step out of that zone. It gave me a running start to make the jump across the abyss.
When I finally made the decision to jump and successfully landed on the other side it felt so good! I wish I would have had the courage to cross the abyss years earlier. Now that I have....life has changed in so many wonderful ways. But each day I still have to make a decision to this new healthy life. Sometimes those old feelings revisit and the "tug" on my shirt tails can be overpowering.
That old way of thinking comes back in a flash and I wonder if all of this hard work is really worth it. The thoughts usually arise when I face brand new feelings and experiences. I now know why they call it the BFL Challenge!
I must confess there are days when I fall back into the abyss. Thankfully the lessons learned have allowed me to put my hands up and grab the edge. I may hang there for a few days...Contemplating which life I want to lead. The old, comfortable life filled with familiar pain or the new, life with surprises around every corner?
It's a decision that many of my BFL Buddies have faced. I am grateful to those who have been there and continue to be there to give me a hand up and pulled me to the other side. In return I'm there to repay the favor.
posted by M. | 12:07 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home